You reveal yourself to me. It scares me but fascinates me so I stay and watch with delight. I wonder where this will go and whether I will be pleasured. However, I am sure that this is a game of Russian roulette. Someone will get hurt. Lets enjoy each other in the meantime.

Once again curiosity gets the best of me. Curiosity of self and curiosity of those all around. Those that worship themselves and those that reveal themselves. Some lack respect for others some lack respect for themselves.

Boredom is the breeding grounds for trouble and the spring board to insanity.

Here it sits on the tip of my tongue. I can't express it, I don't know how to turn this figment of thought into words.

I think that sometimes when I say "I don't know," I really don't. Its as though I am lost in a gigantic forest. But I don't even know where the forest is. So when I get out of the forest I will still be in a foreign land, I won't know where that land is and how to get back to where I am supposed to be. I am also unable to make this unfamiliar world my new home. They won't accept me for who I am. I don't want to change, that would be a lie. So perhaps being lost in this forest is the best way to be true to myself.

I am mesmerized by the illusions you choose to embrace. A smile here a smile there. Frowns always inside so i sit here nonchalantly questioning your reality, and my reality. Answers are never found and questions seem to multiply exponentially. Your smile grows while my grin fades. Your faith grows while my faith implodes. Your God saves while mine abandons. Your world you waste while I consider mine. You claim to care but only worry about yourself. I sit here late at night with drink in hand while you sleep like a baby in your ignorance. I have abandoned your truth while you have abandoned all reality. You seek out lies while I seek out truth. You except all that is false while i run away from it. You preach your damned foolishness, I try my best to escape it. Go on living your lie and I will continue living my own.

How is one to sleep when the whiskey is all drank up?
And how is one to stay warm when all the women have gone home?

You sit there and stair back at me.
I can't touch you but in my mind you are always there.
That gorgeous soft blond hair.
The soft lips, and blue eyes that match my own.
You white skin that looks so fragile,
almost to fragile to touch.
Your inner soul is more fragile,
do I dare touch it and risk damaging it?
Do i have more to gain than lose.
Its not a math equation.
It never should be.
Matters of the heart should be solved by the heart
not on paper or even with the mind.
Teach me to shut of my mind so that my heart can be happy.
Which should come first?
Which is stronger?
Heart?
or
Mind?

Satisfaction is for the simple, the ignorant. Who are you to be completed? Am I to be content or not? I am confused. Which is it? Shall I continue to learn or abandon my self and become who you want me to be. A lie, a vicious lie. A waste. A waste of all. Everything.

Where did you go last night? You certainly didn't search me out. I found you this morning and asked you source of your beauty. You had a satisfactory answer. Show me more of your beauty. All of your beauty I want to see the beauty you haven't shown anyone before. Your forbidden and hidden beauty.

They say things, I don't believe them. What do they really know. Maybe everything, maybe nothing. I guess we will see in the end.

Limbo

Here I sit in the corner of the room I share. No thinking happens here but many thoughts do happen. Confusing I know, but such is life. I write words I shouldn't and don't write words I should.

What is the word? Conundrum?

My eyes strain to open, here we go again. The same thing, different day. One day closer to nothing, or maybe everything. Either way yesterday was wasted and today promises the same fate.

As the world falls down everything dances, dances around us in joy, full of glee. Hold tight to the world as it falls and they dance on around you. Spin world to your death, and everything will dance around.

Deprived Heart
Leave the soul lacking.
The tyranny of world.
The abortion all Love.
Sad music, reminding
All blends into Single.
Memories of the past.
Forgotten? Never, never
Dreams of to come
Happen? never, Never
Salvation escapes,
Beauty,Love, gone.
Sits, sits thinks, Stop
Sleep, fire, sleep, Drink
Goodnight, goodnight
world Stop, never Stop