The wind forces it's way between the leaves on the tree without prejudice. It blows on children and adults, men and women, black and white. It knows no difference it just does its duty. It knows not conservative, nor liberal, democrat, or republican, beautiful or ugly, smart or stupid. It does its duty despite our misgivings. Why can't we be like the wind and disregard our hate, and prejudice. Let us just blow, go from here to there, with smiles on our faces and live our lives?

The disaster of an unintentional life

I was scared, I didn't know what I was scared of though. I feel that I might make a mistake, or am afraid to believe the things I need to believe. There is nothing to protect me now, not you, not your love not your friends. What now?

The confusion life has to offer is very confusing, why must it be so confusing?

They danced upon their distaste for all, abusing their taste for nothing. We lived only awhile, and loved every moment of it. The shadows we embrace, are fleeting for the comfort of another. We dance on and on without remorse, and consequence. Show me you worthless student of ignorance where your purpose is. Even the crow is more valid than you. You desire the controversy you so distaste. I distaste you, contradictory confusion. Blast your confusion and uncertainty, I know not who I am, and care not who you are. Run away and hide while you still can, my vengeance will affect you to. Share not the frenzied fear you so embrace. Run you crazy bastard run.

The worthless desperation of love, the desire to fulfill. Selfishly it wastes both away, and steals there life. It, rather the desire for it, carries them far away to a large hole where nothing will return from. Jump off this wicked ride while you can, jump off before you are destroyed. Or so much is wasted. Curse you, Damn you, I despise you love. I have let you steal from me.

The mountains look real today, and you disillusionment's look legitimate. You know not what you speak of so take your clothes off and run through the barren desert. I love the deprivation of your heart and the desperation of your soul. I despise your worthless state and your fair skin. I am actually jealous of everything you have.

I go on long walks through downtown. I sit on benches and watch the people rush by me oblivious to what is all around them. I listen to the crows "ca" and wonder what they are saying. I even follow them from time to time, and realize it is probably nonsense that I am following a crow because where would they lead me? Maybe I just try to see things they way they do. They are the greatest animal: the smartest of birds, the perfect size, large enough that they aren't in to much danger of being preyed upon, but small enough that they can go anywhere they really choose. The other day I watched the Willamette river for about an hour, I studied its currents and watched the ripples as they traveled across the water. I won't even go into the time I spend watching the squirrels. I watch the homeless men from a distance, and even talk to them from time to time. I stare at the trees in bloom and also the trees that are still bare from the winter. I think the naked leafless trees are more beautiful, because no one notices them, they shrug it off as ugly, just as they shrug of the rain as an inconvenience, I think there is just as much beauty in the rain as there is in a cloudless day.
You think I have clearly gone crazy and your are probably right, I am crazy compared to the majority. I am even called crazy occasionally, when i share my thoughts. Is it so crazy that I look at things differently? Say the things others are only thinking? Think the things others are afraid to examine? Is it so crazy that I am looking for the path with heart? Maybe I should follow the crows.